Death on Life!

My grandmother always told me stories . Apparently, thats the best way to instill values in your kids. She told me stories of Ramayana, Mahabharatha ( infact my mother read the entire mahabharatha when she was carrying me, garbha samskara, she believes it has helped), Savitri, Markandeya, Chidambara, Nachiketha, Bhagavatha, Harishandra and so forth. I was amazed by the characters that come across in such stories. The good men, their patience, perseverance, determination, honesty, content, bliss in the most difficult times, faith in the good deeds, neutrality and so forth always made me raise my standards and expectations from myself much much higher. I have, to my knowledge lead my life till date following those principles. This has brought me in many difficult situations where I had to choose one of the two paths, stand by one against another (but never as difficult as in those stories, it is this feeling that kept me going in all those circumstances), control my desires and even take responsibilty for all the things happening around me. In most of these situations, I have not only been hard not only on self, but also on people around me. Whenever I was confused and disheartened about my path, I used to ask my mother the fruits of being good. She always said that it would be hard in the beginning but finally it will be your day and that my conscience would be clear at the end of the day.

This idea has been reflected in all the stories that were told to me. All the good men in those stories suffered all through their life, but never gave up their principles and hence died peacefully. All the bad men enjoyed all the comforts in their life but died a hard death. The stories do speak of life after death, however I do not know if that even exists. So I choose to consider death as the final destination of life. Categorically speaking, the bad men lead a more comfortable life when compared to the good men. They only suffered during their death. Look at Ravana, he did all the misdeeds during his life and finally payed for it when he lost the battle in which he died. Well, one must agree that he was comfortable for a considerable period of his life as against Rama, Harischandra or such other good men who suffered for a considerable period of their life.

But even today, I tend follow those principles in my life. I intend to do so till my end. When I wonder about the incentive that keeps me going in that path, I get confused about the role of 'living' (jeevana) on my life. Is it the kind of death that I want that makes me choose my life? Is it the kind of night that makes me choose my day? Is the kind of sleep that makes me choose my activities? Is life so insignificant on its own self? I don't know. But whatever it is that keeps me going, may it continue ... so that I die without regrets!